Who's Your Weight Loss Saboteur?
Is Losing Weight Putting a Strain on Your Relationship?
Losing weight can mean a healthier, sexier you. But without being aware, your companion may be suspicious of your motives, and sabotaging your fitness.
You've been losing weight for a month or so, and you're off to a great start. Your clothes are feeling noticeably looser and your work-outs are becoming less painful. You're also feeling more energetic, and basking in all the compliments from your friends, co-workers and neighbors. It's a great feeling to enjoy the pay-off for all your hard work and sacrifice.
But lately you've noticed your significant-other is no longer thrilled with your new, healthy lifestyle. Instead of encouraging you, he or she complains about your long work-outs, or attempts you entice you to splurge (again) on your favorite chocolate dessert? Before long, you're frustrated that your companion is slowing your progress.
If you're dedicating time and effort to changing your lifestyle, don't be surprised if your companion becomes suspicious of why you want to improve your appearance. By working out and losing weight, you inevitably will improve your sex appeal, and unwittingly may destabilize your relationship. The result can be a subtle or not-so-subtle attempt by your companion to return to the status quo, and keep you in your fattened and plump state.
Once you see the patterns of sabotage, sit down with your partner, and explain what you are observing. Be clear that your losing weight is not due to your unhappiness about the relationship or your wanting to be attractive to other people. Explain that you are losing weight for both of you, and that you want to feel more attractive to your companion. It's important that you be candid and honest, and don't leave any room for them to misinterpret or second-guess you.
According to Jillian Michaels, fitness guru and trainer on NBC's hit series "The Biggest Loser," saboteurs are not uncommon, and she encourages her clients to be prepared. "Sit down together and assure him or her of your love and then talk about what's going on," she advises. "Give examples of behavior he or she's exhibited that has sabotaged you in the past, (and) keep reassuring this person of his or her value and importance in your life."
It's likely your partner won't even be aware that their behavior was undermining your weight loss efforts. It may also take a few of these heart-to-heart discussions before he or she discovers that the relationship is not at risk. Who knows, he or she may find a few more reasons to be attracted to you, and you'll both enjoy your hot, new, sexy body.
